Struggling

My mind is all over the place lately. I’ve been thinking about my future a lot and at the same time writing about my past. Reopening old wounds is hard on the heart. I was following my paleoish diet and then I thought this isn’t enough, I need to count calories. Then that wasn’t enough so I started doing weight watchers again. That always leads to starving myself followed by shoving nasty food in my mouth. Cue marshmallows, chocolate chips, and French fries. It’s always an out of control spiral. Then on Tuesday I was enlightened. I decided no more. I’m going to try and eat healthy 75% of the time at least and I’m going to workout. Because I own way too many workout dvds programs I’m combining them. I’ve lost a few dvds here and there. I’m combining p90x strength training days with cardio  (insanity and taebo). I’m taking pictures and at the two week mark I’m going to compare. I’ve also taken measurements. Once I’m back in the habit of workout out I’ll focus more on refining my eating. And I’m saying here and now… no more counting calories! It ruins everything for me!

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